In praise of boring
Even before learning mindfulness , freeing my mind and working on becoming myself i have always attempted to be drama free. I had spent the last 11 months coaching someone going through a difficult time whom cannot resist getting involved in drama even when he knows it does not help and even making things worse. My endless patient words to explain that what is triggering him is his attachments every time he says “it makes me feel better” it really doesn’t it just re-affirms ego and addiction of an untrue story of yourself
Maybe being drama free is boring , maybe not wishing exciting things is boring , being a home person maybe is boring or as someone pointed out to me “why would you not want to travel to exciting cities to show your artwork” maybe also is me being boring.
But i just love my life as it is, quiet and uneventful. I am not very structured but not chaotic, there is a quiet disciplin but thats more love of what i do than forceful energy, and i love the freedom of letting my day unfold : but i am a planner , a list writer who write lists about lists and lists about the lists i have forgotten to do as with my brain functioning of “out of sight is out of mind” i need a reminder of i have not missed things.
Even so , my life is simple, my needs and my cat needs are first ; there was a time in my life that i ignored my needs and that led to depression. It can be many days between talking to another human being and dependent on the humans i may need days after to recover. I am not sure whether its my Aphantasia , Autism , Introverted or just that i just like life to be calm. In calmness i flourish , in feeling safe within my own being i am innately motivated.
I have learnt to distinguish between forceable fear and ego based over production and motivation generated by love and quite boringly i found less is more.
We live in a world of extroverts and if we do not fit into that mode there is something wrong with us . If we do not mix in the right circles or be social and network then often we do not get the opportunities. But now i question whether it was those opportunities i really needed or wanted and when we move away from it our nervous system heals. This world demonise’s words like “boring” but i see it positively.
This brings me right back to the person i am coaching , we all have separate realities and its a human shared experience to be caught up in our thoughts thinking they are true. People opinions of you do not define you , and allowing people to think of you , talk about you however they like is freedom.
Personally i think “boring” is the new punk rock , to sit in silence , to be harmonious with life , to stay at home with your loved ones, to live simply and do the same routines without needing to impose on people is delightful. Not needing or wanting makes life effortless just like the American figure skater Alysa Liu. You can still grow and learn without life being a drama or “exciting” , you can still work through challenges without too much commotion and it does not need to be dramatised.
Bakethin Nature Reserve
Here we are already the end of February and the spring equinox not too far away to dream about the warm sun and spring flowers popping up , there are some already making the effort. I can remember myself coming to the end of Autumn wondering about the sparseness of nature in winter and now it is time for change i am beginning to miss the idea of the serenity of winter with its simplicity and nature pushing me to look differently. Now i am wanting to find special places to sit and slow my cadence right down mirroring the serenity and feel what is it like to be the tree , an old plant or the wet spongy moss capturing the forest floor.
You know its going to get busy very soon and its preperation of centring and grounding yourself , ensuring your roots are strong and connected ; that your spirit knows your intention. It isn’t time for talking , thinking or busying but for that stillness which focus needs prior to action which every Zen master will describe before letting loose an arrow or placing a brush onto paper. It is time to embody that resting space so you can use it like composing music during your time of flourishing as otherwise there is no melody with your intentions just constant noise.
Bull Crag Peninsular
It was a moment of joy as i stood with my camera attached to the tripod due to the low early morning light and mistiness of the forest and there came the tiniest glimpses of light passing by of what was a dark dreary day. It felt special , a sign just for me , perhaps my parents were smiling down at me. I love how it illuminated the tops of the moss claimed tree stumps and grateful of the synchrocity of light coming just at the right moment.
Today the moss seemed to be vibrant despite the lack of light and it just popped out in front of me that my journey through the peninsular took longer than expected but i did have a flask of coffee to pin myself down by a lovely view across the reservoir half way through. It is tiring work saying hello to tree beard , little gems of beauty and photographing those mossy tree legs with the darkened saturated small trees.
Life is about cadence of living fully connected , mindfulness slows us down to enjoy the tiniest and subtle movement , to notice it as it is ourself . We have been discouraged to slow it down and look at life through the lens of love. But , when you do , it is all innate within you , the uncovering is magnificent and that is my enlightenment to fully feel life rather than be lost in mind and driven by unknown secret sources in the depth of my existence.
The winter has revealed treasures within the Peninsular and i have witnessed the industry of forestry in the area so its a fleeting joy not to be grasped at but immersed into the moment. It makes it more special , more real and what has been witnessed can be sought elsewhere allowing the forest to invite you deeper. It shows us that our own winters can reveal unknown parts of ourselves which need to be cared for.
In the Wild , Painting
The trees invite me to return
to realise nothing is stationary , and
every moment our expression is mutable
it is not what we see but how we feel it.
Top Left : Watercolour on 50 x 65 cm Fabrinno Oil Paper
Top Right : Watercolour on 33 x 50 cm Fabrinno Oil Paper
Middle Left : Watercolour on 170 x 250 mm Leda Supplies Sketch Book
Middle Right : Watercolour on 140 x 210 mm Watercolour Sketch Book
Bottom : Watercolour on A3 Canson Watercolour Paper
Hareshaw Linn
The environmentalist and philosopher Arne Naes stated he would always point the fron of his tent at something less grand than the amazing vista to remind him that everything in nature is beautiful and awe inspiring. If nobody but Arne and i see the same thats enough for me and sharing my love for everything will never tire. Sharing is not about ourselves and how people perceive us but it is gifting without the need for trade of something back. It is showing tirelessly that absolutely everything in nature is beautiful and when we begin to see this our life is transformed forever.
That momentary glimpse into February , the pause of stillness and the stories of old in the woodland are guiding us into realising that our own life is fluid , impermanent and changeable every moment we breath. That being present in the moment makes us richer in experience , knowing whats left was love , knowing whats coming is life and connecting to now is freedom.
